Dear mums, dear dads, do you know what is your real role in your child’s education?
Yes, that is the right question. Because we don’t get the answer from beliefs that we’ve picked up to the moment a child starts school. No, we can’t just know because ‘we attended school’ (then we were in a role of a student, not a parent, right?) or because it’s simply like that (?!?)
If we stop for a second and rethink, we can see that there are so many questions imposing; something that no one is actually talking about. We realize that we don’t get that much answers from teachers.
We know what we want: a successful and happy child; everyone will agree.
But, does every child end up successful and happy (just because he/ she finished school and university and with excellent marks?!) Maybe they are successful but are they happy?
How much do we care about this category- happiness? According to the educational system- little.
My list of parent’s role might surprise you; at glance it’s nothing to do with school. But only at glance!
Everything that goes on in and around school- learning, obligations, free time, homework, friends, family, extra curriculum activities; is just the tip of the ice berg. What we don't know is what happens underneath, that is, how much effort, time, and nerves parents spend with/ on their children. Or, even better, how. Because exactly that parental why will bring us to successful and a HAPPY child. It doesn’t work one without the other.
The school takes care of curriculum, plans and programs, you take care of this:
1. child’s needs What does your child need? No, not the school, teachers, not you, not the neighbor. Your child! When he’s hungry, sleepy? When he needs you close by, your warmth, a hug? When he needs to express his opinion, be free, seen; who understands him? His parents, of course. Not the school, his mum and dad.
If child’s needs are not met, there is no learning, no satisfaction, no family harmony, no happiness.
2. child’s mental health
What if your child has to much homework? Will you make him write EVERYTHING? Or, when you see he’s tired, send him to school without homework completed. I hope it’s the second one. Because that’s the way you take care of your child’s health. No one can determinate how much is too much or little homework for a child. Not the teacher, nor you; just the child.
Neglecting child’s need can seriously ruin child’s health, which can take him to stress, burnout; not to mention lost of motivation for school and often irreparable parent’s relationship with children.
3. relationship with children
The school isn’t and shouldn’t be child’s entire world. How do you spend time with kids and it has nothing to do with school? Or is it all about school- all day long? Hopefully not quarreling about school: When will you write homework? Write it now! … That’s not your responsibility.
If you take that responsibility upon yourself, you will hardly have peace, relaxed weekends, play and laughter with your schoolchild.
It’s up to you to be present with your child, connect with him, develop trust and love between you and your kids.
4. discover child’s natural talents
School won’t. Grades and knowledge adapted to all is what is important in school. Your child often needs to do things that don’t satisfy their needs, interests nor wishes; they often don’t suit him so it’s up to the parents to discover his natural talents and to encourage him to develop them.
5. believe in yourself and your child
The opposite of control is trust. We can control child’s every step, make him study or start believing that he can and wants do things himself. He will do it himself when he knows that his parents believe in him, when they let him be himself, when they see and hear him.
6. self care
How mums take care of themselves? She will almost always choose to do million things for children, husband, her parents, work, friends, rather than take an hour for herself, turn off for everything and everyone and do… whatever she wants. Right? But, until when? In order to respect child’s needs, you need to listen and respect your needs first. To is the only right way.
If it’s good for you, it will be good for your child.
A little more wisdom:
- Schooling and education is not the same. Schooling is what it’s title says: school. But, that’s not the only place we learn. There is a whole world outside school walls. That’s is what we call education; all the things you give to child on daily bases, teaching him, raise him: family, travels, love, anger, feelings, walks, cooking, dusting, home budget, technology, French, break dance, confidence, responsibility, problem solving, self awareness, self respect,……… And everything he learns and adopts himself.
- Croatian school It will give him knowledge, literacy,… as every other school system in the world. It’s up to you to make sure your child doesn’t forget his heritage, culture, language.
Make him proud of who he is, what he likes and wants.
Help when he asks for help, whether it’s Croatian or any other subject. You know he has the greatest opportunity to travel and see the world. Enjoy it together. P.S. Škola za život or School for life (Croatian school system moto). I don’t like because it’s simply not true. Life is now! If your child is not happy now, he want be (or know how to be) happy when he graduate from college.
I hope this post was helpful for you. If you have any questions about it, or Croatian school, kids, learning, you can contact me at klub.ucenja2018@gmail.com. We can schedule an individual counseling.
Until next time,
